I need other peoples advice on this one, I've asked everyone I know. When he says that he loves me, I don't believe him! I have this feeling like he doesn't. He's done so much for me and is a really good boyfriend. When ever I tell him that I don't believe him, he bursts out crying and starts punching walls.
Is it me? I had a really bad relationship before this one. I was with a guy for three years and he basically chewed and spit out my heart. I could be scared. I just don't know!
Has anyone felt the same way and found out that they were scared? Or maybe felt the same way as me.
Thanks for your advice.
Never ignore your feelings! They're always telling you something; though it this case, it might not just be about him: Sounds like both of you have some issues. So, you need to start with yourself:
If you're that damaged from your previous relationship, you may need to either take time completely off from the relationship to heal properly, or at least proceed VERY slowly. He is probably approaching the relationship as if you didn't bring this huge bagɡɑɡe of 'trust issues' with you; even if he normally has more self-control, that could be very frustrating for him to deal with.
That's why you have to keep it low-key: neither of you will expect much, he (hopefully) won't feel the need to say things you're not ready to believe yet, and you will have time to heal & learn to trust again.
Once you've gotten yourself over that bad relationship, you will be in a better postion to decide whether this guy is worth trusting on his own merits. As others have said, though; you have to take your instincts into account! Just because he does the right things in a dating situation doesn't mean he's right for you.
First of all, most guys don't say "I love you" unless they mean it. Second, given your previous relationship and how that hurt you, I think you're just scared and struggling with the fact that someone MIGHT REALLY love you. I went through a very similar situation myself and when I did find a guy who treated me well and adored me, I was skeptical but then realized that I was also lucky. Just give yourself some time...but don't tell your boyfriend that you don't believe him - that's hurtful for him to hear I'm sure...
Maybe it's because you're afraid of being hurt again. Don't make him suffer for your past relationship, Start all over with him. Think of this - Has he done anything to hurt you or to make you question his love for you? If not, then there is no reason to not believe him when he tells you he loves you. Trust me on this one, I've been there. If you don't start now, you'll never believe anyone who tells you they love you.
Your problem is that you are bringing bagɡɑɡe from your past relationship to your current one. Has he done anything to you to make you feel like you shouldn't believe him? Or are your non-trusting feelings coming from your past dude? No wonder he gets so mad when you don't believe him, you're making him pay for what your other dude did to you. And that's not fair to him, or you. If he's a great guy, then you have to believe and trust him, because if you don't trust and believe him, he will eventually leave you.
If he is great like you say he is, then you are keeping yourself from enjoying a healthy relationship! You don't want to do THAT, do you???
I think your scared. Just because you've had problems in the past, doesn't mean you have to ruin something that could be good for you. Don't focus on the love thing right now. Just sit back and enjoy as long as he treats you right. Don't get so stressed out.
First, if he starts crying a punching walls he gots some problems. maybe hes a good boyfriend now. but he sounds like some kinda obsessive freak. You say your you feel as if he doesn't love you trust yourself no one else. who knows you better than you. and if you don't feel it then you need to trust your heart whatever it might be saying. Don't let anyone persuay you in anything if your guts telling you otherwise. And becarefull he sounds like one of those guys that gets crazy and locks their girlfriends in the trunk and drives off a cliff.
Relationships and Love are about communication. So he shouldn't be crying and punching walls unless he's 13 of course. So I would say talk to him or even if your like me actions are more important than words. If he is showing you that he loves you... He probably does, he just not a good communicator.
I think you should ask yourself if you love him..
he should not be punching walls..but you should not be with him if you don't think he loves you..so leave the relationship..or stop saying your don't believe he loves you.If he's not the right person for you then move on..or see a couples counselor.Maybe you need to not be in a relationship with anyone for awhile if your last relationship was bad.
1. Don't trust them too much
3.You don't want to get hurt when you tell him you love him back.
4.Does he care for you alot may be you could love him back.
That's all the advice i could give you.
Either because you doubt you're good enough, or you doubt he's honest. Either way you should try to get to the root of the cause. If you're insecure, where does that stem from and how can you be healed of it, and if you can't trust him, why not?