How to handle a two-faced sister-in-law?

My brother and his wife were recently at a family gathering (our family) and my husband and I were not able to attend. My other brother overheard our sister-in-law trash talking my husband to another couple at the gathering.

My husband is a photographer and the couple had selected him to shoot their wedding. Our SIL went on and on about how the pictures were horrible and it took forever to get their proofs and they still haven't gotten their album, yadda-yadda. She put enough crap in this girl's head to make her walk over to her fiance and ask if they should reconsider using my husband. Thankfully her fiance told her that they would talk about it later, that he did not want to discuss this at a family function.

Up until an hour before the family gathering, my husband, daughter and I were going to attend but daughter had fever and I did not want to expose my family, including the SIL (who is pregnant), to something and get them sick. I can not believe she trash talked my husband at a family gathering for OUR family. I am SO infuriated. She obviously doesn't give a damn about my husband and to trash talk him and ruin a business prospect is also hurting ME and our daughter. It affects OUR income. Her husband (my brother) is SO whipped by her it is ridiculous. He jumps right on board and trash talks too. We now have seen and heard her true colors. And PLEASE do not make the excuse that its her hormones because she is pregnant. I can ignore her at future family gatherings but why should I have to put up with this? It's MY family. If anyone can offer any advice on how to handle her I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

5 Answers

  • I would speak to her - prefably infront of other family members ( because she could lie at a later date and claim you did all sorts of things) Say something like I hear you bad mouthed our business to prospective customers - you do not have to say yr other brother told you because it could have easily have been your customers reporting back . Then say if you have a problem with us I would prefer it if you come to us direct - we are a family and I would hate to have to take one of my own family to court for slander. This should show her up - as aside I would say to your brother that You were very disappointed in him as well considering it affects your business. Good luck

  • OK, first I will tell you I am going through the same thing. My brother is not married to her (yet) but he might as well be, they have been together for almost 6 years. My boyfriend has witnessed her firsthand cheating on him. They went to the same bar for about 6 months and he said she was always hitting on a guy/kissing a guy/going home with a guy. Apparantly my brother knows about her promiscuity and thinks it's okay. My deal is that I have bipolar/ADHD so whatever I say about her is thrown out the window because I'm the "crazy" one. She also does not respect my boundaries AT ALL. I am supposed to respect hers and my brothers, but they don't have to do so in return. My boyfriend and I do not trust her at all, he thinks she has been a horrible two-faced friend. But unfortunately we are the only people in my family who think so...

    Here's what I plan to do...write my family off. Harsh, I know, but I don't want to be around people who treat me that way anymore, family or no family. I have my boyfriend's family who treat me a million times better. I think you need to approach them and if they don't care, just write them off. You'll be happier in the long run. You don't need people like that in yours lives! Good luck with everything!

    *EDIT* I did try being the bigger person, but that did not work for me. Try that first, maybe it will work better for you.

  • Wow, sounds like my situation exactly that I just posted. Do nothing. Out-class her. She wants you to stoop to her level. She is threatned by you and your husband and your family. It will become more than obvious that she is the one with the problem when she's the only one talking. Trust me. Smile, genuinely ask about her day, tell her you love her (sincerely), and just keep going on with you life. Unfortunately, she will probably not change. But on her side, she will stay in the same spot for years, with anger weighing her down. At the same time you'll be moving forward and will be happier for learning to deal with it. She cannot control her emotions, they control her. Don't fall into that trap. Let her look like the child..... out-class her.

  • for sure all human beings else in her kin, jointly together with her very own mom, has already written her off for being a annoying, severe-upkeep bridezilla. You have been amazing adequate to even grant to throw her a bathtub, and he or she has in certainty slapped you interior the face, telling you that the bathe you're throwing out of the goodness of your coronary heart isn't as much as her oh-so-severe standards. If I have been you, i could basically walk faraway from the full situation impressive now, wash my hands of her thoroughly, and take the severe street by potential of no longer stooping to her point. all human beings in touch with the marriage already knows what a discomfort interior the @$$ she's being, so they somewhat won't blame you for giving up on the bathe at this factor. basically drop off each and all the decorations, etc. which you already offered for the bathe at her mom's living house and tell her, "i had to throw your daughter a bathtub yet she needs you to do it somewhat. optimistically you ought to use those issues I already offered for it." Then get away as quickly as you could! one in each and every of those shame that bratty, spoiled brides from time to time ought to make existence so problematical for each individual around them. you're a candy individual, and that i'm hoping existence brings you good issues.

  • If she is going around trying to destroy his business reputation and there is no truth behind it you could seek legal action. You would have to consult an attorney on that though. I also liked Jen's advice, it was very good.

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